notyoudonut:

so my friends son is going through puberty earlier than his classmates and it was freaking him out a bit so she sat him down and explained how his body was going to change and that its supposed to happen and at the end she was like “are you confused about anything?” and hes like “just one thing”

and shes thinking “oh no hes going to ask me about sex i just know it”

and he says “i just dont understand modern art”

(via sniffing)

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(Source: drinklust, via happiest)

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

(via 2young2care-yolo)

weloveshortvideos:

When you realise you’ve had one too many..

(via fruitpacks)